No matter what your mom… or every other mom you meet says, favoritism does exist!! It’s just we don’t want our kids to know. And I think other moms don’t want to admit it because they don’t want to be regarded as bad moms. Our moms won’t admit it (even if you ask them directly) because they don’t want to reveal that they’ve been lying to us all our life. But I’m a mom now and I confess: I favor Oullie over Mimi.
Don’t get me wrong. I still love Mimi to bits and would lay my life on the line for her… but quite honestly as any mom of two will tell you, when she’s endangering her brother’s life or causing him pain, I really have to restrain myself from lashing out at her.
I don’t know if it’s because he’s the younger one.. or if it’s because he’s the boy… or if it’s because he might be my last… but the way I love him is indescribably overwhelming!! I hug him and kiss him all the time (even more when he fights me off)! I love smelling him (the nap of his neck) at every opportunity.
In a way this has made me come to terms with being the ‘black sheep’ of my family. As my dad once said, “You favor the youngest till they grow (but the youngest will always be the youngest.. and hence she will ALWAYS be favored above us all!)… the sick one until s/he recovers (and unfortunately I have a chronically ill sister whom will always be favored by all of us)… and the one traveling till s/he returns (my bro has been overseas for the past 10 years… which trumps my 5 and I go home much more often in a year than he has in the past 10)” So in a nut shell, favoritism does exist we just do such a horrible job trying to hide it and deny it. Trust me, kids can see right through our lies of, “I love you all equally!”
UPDATE (16/3): We should be honest with our children and tell them that we love them differently. I love Mimi for her ability to express herself so amazingly… for speaking at an early age and not having stopped since (sometimes she outdoes me!)… for the Knock-knock jokes she’s become so keen on telling… for the future shopping sprees we will have… the future beauty salon visits… the future close friend I will find in her.
I love Oullie for his extra super duper cuteness… his ability to make me melt with that smile… the hugs…. the energy that drives me crazy yet makes me laugh all at once… for the future man he will be and the crazy errands I’ll have him running. :)
Maybe Hubby is right, we should stop at 2 kids so he can continue to tell Mimi she’s his favorite girl… and Oullie that he’s his favorite boy! :)